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Feike Alenus

Effective Communication: The Key to Building Strong Relationships

Effective communication is all about being able to properly convey a message to another person. And yes, that can sometimes be trickier than we initially think. After all, it is more than just translating the thoughts taking place in your head into words and then speaking them. It’s a vital ingredient in building strong and healthy relationships, whether they are personal or professional. Being able to express yourself clearly, listen actively and understand others’ perspectives are all important skills that can help you connect with others, avoid misunderstandings, and achieve your goals.


The lubricant of human beings is and always will be communication. Without effective communication, there is no life. Non-communication does not exist, because that also says something. We communicate with everything we have, not only with words, but also with our intonation, posture, facial expression, hand gestures, clothing and much more. The goal of effective communication is attunement. Time and again, this turns out to be very complex and therefore enormously interesting. Those who can communicate well in any situation have an advantage and will achieve their goals more easily than others who communicate less effectively. You could say that the art of effective communication gives you a distinctive advantage in a competitive job market. Your added value to an organization increases exponentially with effective communication. Your communication skills are really put to the test when the stakes are high, opinions diverge and emotional tension rises. Often these conversations determine whether a project will succeed, whether we can work together, whether we will achieve intended results and whether the relationship will remain good.


So what makes effective communication so difficult?

Of course, it has to do with the complexity of human beings themselves. Just consider that each person has their own frame of reference. Computers that communicate have virtually the same protocol, but the human computer (brain) is programmed differently in everyone. So a message that is clearly spoken can be understood differently by everyone. This is only step one of the complexity of communicating effectively. After all, what about human emotions? When those come into play it becomes even more complex. When you feel attacked, insulted or unfairly accused, your blood can boil. Oxygen is literally drained from your brain and your muscles are fueled by adrenaline. Your reptilian brain takes over communication. Instinctively you shoot into flight or fight mode, such is nature.

During conversations like this, it turns out that people find it difficult to stay in dialogue, to really listen and to work on the shared principles, shared goals. While these are often enormously important moments, “crucial” moments.


How can you communicate effectively?


1. Be Clear and Concise

One of the most important aspects of effective communication is being clear and concise. This means that you should be able to express your thoughts and ideas in a way that is easy for others to understand. Avoid using jargon or technical terms that others may not be familiar with. Instead, use simple language that is easy to follow

When communicating with others, it's important to consider the context and adjust your language accordingly. For example, when speaking to a group of professionals in your field, it may be appropriate to use technical terms that they would understand. On the other hand, when speaking to a group of non-experts or people outside your field, it would be better to use plain language that is easy for everyone to understand.

It's also important to be concise when communicating your ideas. Avoid rambling or going off on tangents, as this can lead to confusion and make it harder for others to follow your train of thought. Instead, focus on the key points that you want to get across and organize your thoughts in a clear and logical manner.


2. Listen Actively

Effective communication is not just about talking; it is also about listening. Active listening means paying attention to what others are saying and trying to understand their perspective. It involves asking questions, clarifying any misunderstandings, and demonstrating empathy.

When listening to others, it's important to give them your full attention. Avoid multitasking or checking your phone, as this can signal disinterest or disrespect. Instead, focus on the speaker and try to understand their point of view.

It's also important to ask questions and clarify any misunderstandings. This shows that you are engaged in the conversation and are genuinely interested in what the other person is saying. By asking questions, you can also gain a deeper understanding of their perspective and avoid making assumptions.

Finally, it's important to demonstrate empathy when listening to others. This means putting yourself in their shoes and trying to understand their feelings and emotions. By showing empathy, you can build trust and respect with others and strengthen your relationships.


3. Use Non-Verbal Communication

Non-verbal communication is just as important as verbal communication. Your body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice can all convey important messages. For example, crossing your arms can signal defensiveness, while making eye contact can show that you are engaged and interested.

When communicating with others, it's important to be aware of your non-verbal cues and how they may be interpreted. For example, if you are in a job interview, it's important to maintain eye contact and sit up straight to show that you are confident and interested in the position.

It's also important to be aware of others' non-verbal cues and how they may be feeling. For example, if someone is slouching or avoiding eye contact, they may be feeling anxious or uncomfortable. By being aware of these cues, you can adjust your communication style to better connect with others and build stronger relationships.


4. Avoid Assumptions

Assuming that you know what someone else is thinking or feeling can lead to misunderstandings and miscommunication. Instead of making assumptions, ask for clarification and try to understand their perspective. This can help you avoid any unnecessary conflict and build stronger relationships.

When communicating with others, it's important to avoid jumping to conclusions or making assumptions about their feelings or motivations. Instead, ask.


5. Be Open-Minded

Being open-minded means being willing to consider different perspectives and ideas. It means being receptive to feedback and being willing to adapt your communication style to fit the situation. Being open-minded can help you build trust and respect with others.


6. Practice Empathy

Empathy involves putting yourself in someone else's shoes and trying to understand their perspective. This can help you connect with others on a deeper level and build stronger relationships. When communicating with others, try to see things from their perspective and validate their feelings.


Do you want to know more about effective communication or do you want to be coached in this area?

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